Angel

No mood to write. No mood to express feelings. I love the picture.

There is a little library hidden in an old street. It is not so small, but there is never anybody. Like a labyrinth. Big bookshelfs, lot of books, some small tables. I meet a man, i have never known before. We began to talk, talk about nothings. His eyes light strange, strange calling, as he looks at my body. He is teasing me, lets play I suggest. Ask anything you want, if I cant answer,-that is a high risk in it-he adds. I love to take risk-i answer. you won, you can ask something from me. We play and i dont fail the answers, just some, and he collects my failed answers. When i say no smileying, teasing, with laughing eyes. -So- and he grabs my breasts, this is for one failed answer, as he caresses me. I just let him to do so, I am lost in his eyes, and I know i get wet. -would you wait for me in the toilet?-he asks suddenly. I just get shocked. But he smiles nicely, that my curiousity awakes. We sit before eatchother telling not a single world. Slowly I stand up, and charming look back, and go to the toilet. I wait there some minutes when he comes in. It seems endless the waiting. -Turn back little girl- He puts my left legs up, and i face the wall, while he stands behind me. He begins to caress me, my thigts. I have a small rock on me, stockings, panties, high boots. -Take off your stockings. I am scared but but somehow too excited. I obey to that man, but i take back the boots. -You are beautiful you know? as he smiles. -Will you fuck me?-Hm maybe,-smiles badly as a grinning evil, as he fingers me. And I want him so much. Then suddenly he whispers to my ears-you will be fucked, little, you are damn wet. he teared down my panties and stuck in my mouth. And slowly he began to fuck me. Slowly, and then more and more rapidly.

Verliebt:-D

Das ist meine neue liebe:-D Ich werde mit einen freund von mir das gehen und ausprobieren:-D Ich wollte das immer lernen. Wenn ich bin gut ich kann zur wettbewerben gehen. Zum beispiel in einem Wood, i have to shot, the versteckte figuren. Und es gibt verschieden regeln. Zum beispiel du musst die königin nicht ermorden nur der zauberei:-D

Going to sleep.

Abend

Die abenden sind immer sehr interresant. wenn ich bin alleine dann dazu, wenn nicht dann dazu. In der nacht wir sind immer immer alleine , auch wenn jemandem schläft neben uns. (by rushdie). Ich denke manchmal, ganz plötzlich an der tage an dich. ganz unerwartet, wenn ich denke an wirklich ganz nichts, oder an wirklich ganz meine studium. Und ich weiss nicht warum. Das ist nicht eine Bedürfniss dass ich möchte ins arm genommen zu sein, oder so etwas, nur dass ich würde gerne dich sehen, und dich treffen, dich nicht anderem. das ist ein vermiss. ich weiss das ist total verrückt, aber das hängt einfach nicht von mir. Wenn ich könnte das kontrollieren ich würde das gerne vergessen. Ich denke nicht so viel an Asia, an Marina, and die anderen mit denen ich den ganzen Tag verbracht habe, als an dich. Entschuldigung das ich es schreibe, aber es hat kein sinn ob ich es schreibe oder nicht. Manchmal ich würde so viel geben nur etwas von dir hören zu können, und dich als einen guten freund haben. Ich bin einfach schwach. Ich hasse schwach zu sein.Ich sollte dass nicht schreiben was ich jetzt geschrieben habe, weil ich habe gelernt, dass wenn ich möchte überleben ich muss meine gefühlen verstecken, immer. Aber manchmal wenn ich das schreibe es ist leichter. Wenn du wüsstes ein paar geschichten was ich ausgedacht habe:-P Diese sind sehr kompliziert:-D

Ich habe etwas in einem Buch gelesen: "I learned that there are people with them we live close together, and they will never get close to us. And there are those who we hardly know, but they are in our heart immediately." Wolf Serno

P.S.: Ich habe vergessen über 2 selbstbefriedigung zu schreiben. Es waren an dem tag ich über die anderen geschrieben habe. aber ich habe an nichts gedacht das war nur bedürfnisse. Dann an nächsten abend, dann am nächsten auch:-D dann an dem tag auch.
Ich warte schon das november, ich werde presentationen machen vor der universität:-D Ich liebe das ich kann glänzen:-D Ich muss schon dass vorbereiten, aber das wird einfach super sein:-D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cz5YnrcOU4&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuLyBvg0VL8&mode=related&search=

:-P I have too many energy. I wrote this a year before and it has a story.

He was angry. In an inexpressible way. His anger flowed trought the room, and searched for me circulating near the furniture. The plants sared to cold death, and I closed my eyes, and waited without to dare to breath. I waited for his anger to catch me, and tear me into pieces. In our relationship this was a tabu. He never touched me when he was angry, when he was really angry. We did not meet for days those times, till he was quitened down, so only the parts of his anger could reach me. But now the all was rippling towards me. How he moved int he hall, how he took out his shoes. I stood int he middle of the room quietly, hoping that i would vaporize. But only my wants, and longing for the revange vaporised. My revange with i hurted him so much, in a sweat bitter groove. As I stood there, i could not disappear in a moment, i began to fear. Suddenly the fear overcome in me, that he will leave me. I would have leaved him to hit me till I die, or he would do anything, with he forgive me, with I can concilate him, and I can forget myself in his hugs. I feared so much that he leaves me, throws me away, steps out of the door, and I can never hear his voice again. The thought of his missing restrained me.
I could not imagen what he planes to punish me, but his anger rippled towards to me. As he stepped into the room, and suddenly sticked at, I will never forget that cruel gaze. I could have leaved the room sooner, I could have waited till he calms down, I could begged on my knees. But I faced him. He looked at me also, in my challenging eyes, and turned. I thought he will leave, but he only closed the door behind him quietly. He didnt wanted to waste his energy of his anger for some flapping, lashing the doors. He collected all his energy to me, like I would be a hostile beast he has to defeat, and to bear down, and he knows that the battle will eat up all his power. He looked once more at him with a devil smile on his face I knew so well. OH my god, he know maybe what he does. As a nonbeliever I prayed to my non-existing god. Suddenly he hurried to me, his power trow me to the wall, I stepped back, till I could. He touched me, and i fluttered with all my body. The fear results interesting thing from my body.
If somebody would listen from outside, he could hear the annyoing stilness, and could hear that somebody is tearing out something. For example some paper. Inside the room his anger reached, moved, condensed, and stooped to me. He grabbed me and teared away my clothes. Not paying attention to my skin, he trow my clothes to pieces where he could. He didnt payed attention to me, he didnt take care of me, he didnt spare me. Ha annexed me and raped me brutally. I have never seen in him such a desire to own, and rule. He did not only wanted to be satisfied, but he wanted me, to pain me, to win over me.

:-P

This is not so good. But i need to practice how to draw a body:-P